For Liverpool fans, the perfect footballing weekend is:
1) Liverpool win.
2) ManU drop points (preferably lose).
3) Everton drop points (preferably lose).
Half Time, ManU vs Sunderland
Me: I have some good news and some bad news.
Me: Good news is that Manu are drawing at Half Time. Bad news is they are still going to win.
(cut to an hour later, into injury time at the Theater of Screams)
*Vidic scores the winner for ManU with barely a couple of minutes to go*
Me: I told you so.
Wife (pissed off): I hate them!
Mid-way through the second half in the Everton vs Aston Villa game, Everton trailing 1-2
Me: You know what I’d like. I’d like to see Everton equalize.
Wife (dirty look): What?!
Me: Yeah, I’d like to see them equalize, only for Villa to break their hearts with an injury time winner.
(cut to half an hour later)
*Everton equalize deep into injury time*
Me: Oh, well!
Wife: Crap! (or words to that effect)
*Before we have time to react further, Ashley Young pops up with the winner for Villa straight after play resumes. Ref signals end of game.*
Me (laughing uncontrollably): Ha ha ha, I love it!
Wife (stares at me for a few seconds): You just freaked your wife out!