Category Archives: humor

I had a dream

Two dreams actually. First, the Liverpool Board went behind my back and installed Juande Ramos as my replacement after I won the League + FA Cup double in Football Manager. Second, Oil touched 145 USD a barrel.

Have to say that both dreams worry me a great deal. By the time you read this, the second one might actually have come true. I am not going to start up FM for a while to ensure that the first one doesn’t come true – atleast for a while – because it sounds exactly the kind of thing the men assholes presently in charge of the great institution would do.

Dreams? More like nightmares!

Indian Virals

Ok, one of these links has been sitting in the Drafts folder for close to an year. The other for around 6 months. Old news? About time you checked them out I say!

This video was originally released at www.thebirthofdon.com, but that site seems to be down now. Thank God (Google?) *pun, nudge-wink* for YouTube, which has helped preserve this little gem. It’s worth the 1 min 25 sec of your time, trust me.

This is the more recent one, still available on the original site. Here’s the 1 min 50 sec video, again via YouTube.

Good to see Indian companies embracing viral marketing and combining it effectively with the more traditional methods. Case in point, I received link to the first time in an “official” mail from the company concerned.

Tatoo



tatoo, originally uploaded by Avi_Abrams.

The Bill everyone loves to… love!

Lines that stood out for me from Bill Gates’ remarks at Harvard:

I remember going to Davos some years back and sitting on a global health panel that was discussing ways to save millions of lives. Millions! Think of the thrill of saving just one person’s life – then multiply that by millions. … Yet this was the most boring panel I’ve ever been on – ever. So boring even I couldn’t bear it.

What made that experience especially striking was that I had just come from an event where we were introducing version 13 of some piece of software, and we had people jumping and shouting with excitement. I love getting people excited about software – but why can’t we generate even more excitement for saving lives?

He spoke about issues close to his heart, but he started off with a couple of jokes, which is always a nice way to start, and made me think, again (( Remember AllThingsD and the “I am not Fake Steve Jobs” remark, again, right at the start? Either this guy is good or well tutored :p Ya ya, once a Microsoft cynic, always a cynic. )), not bad, this guy has a sense of humor (( There’s no such thing as a good sense of humor or bad sense of humor. You either have a sense of humor, or you don’t. )).

I want to thank Harvard for this timely honor. I’ll be changing my job next year … and it will be nice to finally have a college degree on my resume.

I applaud the graduates today for taking a much more direct route to your degrees. For my part, I’m just happy that the Crimson has called me “Harvard’s most successful dropout.” I guess that makes me valedictorian of my own special class … I did the best of everyone who failed.

But I also want to be recognized as the guy who got Steve Ballmer to drop out of business school. I’m a bad influence. That’s why I was invited to speak at your graduation. If I had spoken at your orientation, fewer of you might be here today.

And this little gem:

Radcliffe was a great place to live. There were more women up there, and most of the guys were science-math types. That combination offered me the best odds, if you know what I mean. This is where I learned the sad lesson that improving your odds doesn’t guarantee success.

Keep up all the good work Bill, the world appreciates it. Needless to say, I am talking about all non-technical projects.

500 dollars? Fully subsidized? With a plan?

Sample this conversation over IM with Amitabh last week:

Amitabh: u know apple shd come up with an offer that they will pay for all early terminations
Amitabh: people who wanna get the iphone but r not on att
Amitabh: u can only imagine the business that wd bring to att
Amitabh: 😉
Kunal: why do that when people will willingly pay themselves and come to them!
Amitabh: 🙂

Turns out, I wasn’t way off the mark as John Gruber linked to this:

Interpret’s survey also bodes well for AT&T. Half the buyers switched from another carrier. Of those, 35% paid an average $167 to break a contract.

167 dollars average to break the contract – that’s a third of the cost of the 4 GB iPhone, not a trivial amount by any means.

Obviously, people want it, and want it bad – and that’s because their current phones suck. Considering all expenses (phone + activation + commitment + early termination, if any), an iPhone will set you back by around 2000 USD over 2 years – if you stay within the “free minutes” or whatever they call it in the US.

It might be the “most expensive phone in the world” – but the customers are happy to pay for it and Apple + AT&T are obviously happy with it’s success. Everybody wins? Try telling that to Steve Ballmer.

The Susie

Here’s an example of why Seinfeld rocks.

This is the transcript of the “teaser” before The Susie. (( Surprisingly I couldn’t find this transcript online. I guess when Stan the Caddy misses it, all the sites carrying “original” scripts do. I ended up typing it up myself.))

(George and Elaine riding in the back of a cab)

George: Hey, if I were a gigolo, how much do you think I could charge a night?
Elaine: Here, or in Japan?
George: What’s the difference?
Elaine: Well, the Japanese are more enlightened. They can see beyond the physical.
George: Forget Japan, how much would you pay?
Elaine: Oh, I don’t know. A dollar?
George: I think I am worth atleast 300.
Elaine (laughs): I don’t think so!
George: Hey, it’s for all night!
Elaine: I know!
George: You are demeaning me.
Elaine: You are a gigolo!
George: Well, you hired me. I am the victim here.
Elaine: Did I force you into this line?
George: Yes. You and every woman like you.

And that’s not even a Larry David. Well done Mr. David Mande.

[tags]Seinfeld[/tags]

Enough with the iPhone already

Less than a couple of hours till the most anticipated launch ever. Time to go to sleep and wake up to a plethora of “personal” reviews from the early adopters I’m sure.

My M600i fell down today and got a couple of minor scratches. I think someone wants me to get a new phone. :p

Here’s one for all the iPhone doubters and everyone who claims to be sick of all the “iPhone hype”.

iPhone

via Lígia Rodrigues.